My birthday has always been one of my favorite days of the year. I cannot tell you why exactly but there it is. It may have to do with the fact that my birthday is just one of a slew of them within my family – my sister’s is the day before mine, my dad’s is two days after mine, and my niece’s is the day after him. When I was younger, we would get together “birthday weekend.” Then life happened. I grew up and everyone got busy. Still, the day continued to be a favorite. It was a day where I just felt special.
This year, I did not feel that way. I am not looking for sympathy or any kind of belated birthday wishes. I just want to state the fact. The Friday before my birthday (4 days prior), I had a medical test run. Let me just state it straight out – it sucked. The test I do not remember (luckily enough) because I was sedated but the preparation was nothing that I would brag about completing. Right before I was sedated, the nurse wished me an early happy birthday. I just looked at her.
Maybe I would feel different if I could have had a piece of birthday cake, or if I had done something to celebrate. I don’t know. It was just an eh day. It was calm (which I needed) and I bought myself some really good quality (and fabulous tasting) tea. So, that is something, I suppose. The day was just not anything “special.” I watched movies, drank tea, taught a student, and just felt tired.
I like to set goals and that is probably where I get myself into trouble. While goals are fabulous, I think that I take things a bit too far sometimes. So, I will work on this – I will at least try to be reasonable. What do I want for this year? I want to be strong. I want to be able to breathe, enjoy life, spend much time outside, and remember that I can do hard things. I want to feel less stress and enjoy the things that I do more. I just want to “be” and maybe enjoy a milkshake once in a while.