Validation of Self

“I’m secure in who I am. I don’t need the validation of those that would say, you have to be a certain thing in order to be accepted. I’m comfortable going against the grain if I need to.” – J.C. Watts

I had the following exchange today with a woman in her 80s:

  • Her: Are you married?
  • Me: No.
  • Her: Have you ever been married?
  • Me: No.
  • Her:  Well, that’s a shame.pathway
  • Me: Why’s that?
  • Her: Because you’ll never know the joy of having and raising babies.
  • Me: It’s still a possibility. I’m not THAT old.
  • Her: By the time I was your age, I already had 5 kids.

I then had to lead her into a discussion about the differences between her generation and mine. She, like my grandmothers, married while still in her teens. That is not the “popular” marriage-age in today’s culture. She nor I am wrong.

This got me thinking about my life. What if I had done this instead of that? What if I’d gone here instead of there? This is a pointless exercise. Don’t waste your time.

What is the conclusion to my thinking? Who I am is right and good. I have accomplished things in my life that I am proud of and I am still young enough to accomplish so much more. Whether or not a family of my own will factor into those accomplishments has yet to be seen. The lack of this in my life currently does not devalue my experiences as a human, as a person worthy of love, respect, and success.

you2There is this idea of validation. I have to have done something or lived my life in a way to find justification for my existence. This is not true and it will never be true. Who I am is right and what I choose to do with my life day by day is up to me.

So, what have I learned in my 32 years of life? I have endless possibilities, much potential, drive to succeed, and many opportunities. My life is an open book before me. It is up to me to choose how to fill it up. I choose to be the best me that I can be and not pay so much attention to the expectations that others have for me.

My life is the perfect life for me at this time. My being is right. The rest will come at the needful time.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


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