What Did I Agree to Do?


Today, I have been so tired I can barely see straight. I fight this battle many days of the week. No, it’s not because I did not get enough sleep and it’s not because I slept too much. It is just part of the war I am fighting.

I have been sick on and off for the past year and a half or so. If we are going to be honest, it has been longer than that – probably a good chunk of my life. I have been to doctors and have had blood drawn and tests run. I absolutely do not want to get into the nitty gritty details. Only that most people have no idea. Most days lately, I have better control over my body and how I feel but some days not. There are days when my “safe” foods make me sick. I feel that my body is slowly starting to heal but it is so hard at times and today is one of those times.

I am learning to control my pain, digestive issues, and fatigue a couple different ways. I do some form of exercise every day. Not just something gentle but I push myself. I also watch my food intake. I am very strict with this part. I log every bit of food and drink that enters my mouth. I have learned that eating a small amount every few hours helps to prevent my stomach and intestines from seizing and cramping. I have learned that pushing myself physically clears my mind and assists my body with releasing the toxins it likes to hold onto.hill-863446_640

I have been doing quite a bit of hiking this summer. One of the best parts about living in the location I do is all of the wonderful places to hike and appreciate the outdoors. The first hike I went on a few months ago was good but I came home and slept for about 3 hours. I was tired. I was sore. I was not sure I could continue. I kept on. I went kayaking/paddling with a friend or hiking with a friend every week this summer. It was marvelous. I went on walks before and after work to help clear my mind. I did yoga, TaeBo, and other forms of exercise.

My regular hiking partner is my friend Stephanie. Now, I met her back in my undergrad days. We were both piano majors but we never spent a lot of time out of class together. She was (and still is) larger than life. She is the opposite of me – she’s outgoing and spontaneous. She moved to Boise a bit ago and we have held combined studio events for the last year. We have become friends and it is wonderful to know that somebody has your back and isn’t afraid to push you a little bit.  Well, a couple weeks ago, while on a hike, Stephanie says that she has found a goal for us. We are going to train together and do the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. Um…sure…okay. I had done some running before I had gotten sick but not much since. I have been a little wary but confident that I can do this.  After my first “run,” I texted her that I cursed her the entire workout. She thought that was funny but agreed she probably deserved it. Well, it’s gotten better….mostly.running-573762_640

Yesterday, I felt good. I felt strong. I’m running more and more of my workout and my pace overall is improving. I have every confidence that I can power through this week and do my workouts successfully and feel strong while doing so. I will break through my fatigue tomorrow but today…not so much. Next week, I may need a little extra support as I up my time spent running. Let us just pray I do not hit a brick wall. I am stronger than this medical condition that has a hold on me. I am stronger than my intestines like me to believe.

It’s a little after 8PM here and I am going to bed so I can power through tomorrow like a champion. I will surrender today to my enemy but the war will be my victory.

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