“All bad behavior is really a request for love, attention, or validation.” – Kimberly Giles
I know this lady that has begun this habit of just yelling anytime she feels neglected or she needs something. I can be five feet from her and, all of a sudden, I hear, “HELP!” She repeats this call as loud as possible and about every five seconds. It seems pretty ridiculous as an observer.
It does make me reflect on human behavior. She is yelling because she wants attention. What do we do when we want attention? How do we respond to the world around us when we feel that nobody cares or we need a little extra TLC?
There have been a lot of times when I just want to scream, “HELP! Notice me! Pay attention to me!” I refrain because it would do no good. It seems that the harder someone screams for attention, the less attention is given or we say to that person, “We’ll be with you when we can. Now, stop yelling.” It reminds me of the story of the boy who cried wolf. We keep crying and screaming for the world to notice us, for us to receive what we feel is rightfully ours, and the world responds only to find out it was a false alarm. Then, when we truly do need help or are struggling and cry out, the world ceases to pay heed.
So, where does our individual behavior belong in this spectrum of yelling and staying silent? How do we personally respond to people in need of love and validation? How do we ask for the validation we need personally?
I have no answers but I do have a lot of questions. Questions that keep piling upon themselves until there is no hope of even beginning to dig through the muck. So, I suppose, through these questions I’m saying to the world, “Notice me. Validate me. Pay attention to me.”
Validation, attention, love. It’s all a tricky business.