I’m feeling reflective today and so, thought I would pop on here and do a 2017 roundup.
Before coming here to write this, I reread my posts from this past year. Granted, I posted much much less than I anticipated…but it was interesting to read. I feel like a completely different person than the one that was inhabiting my body in early 2017. I think I owe it to my “Carrie Fisher” goal. In early 2017, I posted:
“I have let fear get the better of me in most everything I have attempted to do. I have let other people talk me down and tell me that I’m really not good enough. I’m sick of feeling mediocre. So, I’m going to channel Carrie this year. I’m going to be honest, brave, look after myself, and to stop feeling less than I am.”
Well, guess what? I feel like I have at least kicked this process right out of the gate. It doesn’t end with the end of the year. This is lifelong. I have said yes to new opportunities and experiences. I have met people that have helped me see the possibilities inside myself. I have shared portions of my story with others, and written portions here, as well. I have claimed ownership of myself and that feels so unbelievably good.
This year, I put myself out there and took a new job at work. I stepped back a bit from my teaching. I learned to do new things. I learned to do hard things. I learned that saying yes opens up new possibilities and saying no protects my mental health. Most importantly, I have learned that who I am is enough.
I learned how to make a chocolate soufflé this year and it was delicious.
I learned that I actually like to participate in group exercise classes at the gym….and I look forward to these classes. I actually look forward to being at the gym as often as I can make it there.
I learned that when I’m stuck, it’s okay to ask for help.
I learned that I love color. I now have pop art all over the walls of my place and I love it so much! I also bought turquoise bar stools because they felt authentically my style. They are perfect.
I learned that you cultivate joy by surrounding yourself with people that make you better. I have met people this year that like me for just being me. No strings. No expectations of me becoming something other than I am now. They encourage me to be my best self, to challenge, myself, and to rise to my full potential.
I learned new crochet patterns. Seriously. I am trying to finish my 365-day temperature afghan. I’ve also made a couple smaller projects and just started a new one over Christmas.
I learned that there is more to me than meets the eye.
I learned that I like myself more when I am being authentically me. I’m not such a bad person. I’m weird but not so bad.
So, where is 2018 going to take me? I don’t know but the journey will be fun. I am going to carry my 2017 “Carrie Fisher” goal into 2018. I am not quite done learning how to be my most authentic self. So, here’s to be being honest, brave, looking after myself, and to stop feeling I’m less than I am. Here’s to bigger and brighter things ahead.